And she replied....
There may well be many reasons that woman might want to lead or a guy want to follow. They may prefer to dance the non-traditional role, or they may want to improve their dance by understanding the dance from the other role. I dance both roles, which has really improved my dancing. Leading and following feels very different and I get that variety during an evening of dancing. And it means I can always get up and dance, be it lead, follow or solo.
Perfectly reasonable reply.
It even took me a while to realise that it totally misses the point.
And I'm not as stupid as you are.
There's no mention of gender.
I'm perfectly happy to follow. You'll often find me 10 yards behind the old ball and chain on a Saturday afternoon, or standing outside Dorothy Perkins, rolling my eyes at the other poor unfortunate morons.
It's not about showing women respect. That's why we have Christmas.
That is why the baby Jesus gave us Milk Tray. And Fry's Chocolate Cream. I could go on.
It's not about gender at all.
It's about communication.
So I communicated...back
It's not the lead-follow. There is no problem getting everybody to lead or to follow. You could set that up with a bingo ticket of who is doing what.
I do improv. We follow all the time. We lead all the time. Gender has no issue. There is no ego, sexism or racism but this is partner dance. The instructor calls the shots. An extreme would be to get the men dancing together and just the women together - why not do that?
There are many reasons why.
It makes it look more about agenda than gender.
It maybe wasn't but it needed a tweak to ensure everybody's comfort. That's job number one. The Blues can hang till that's done.
My Mum gets sick of having to dance with women. I'll ask her what she thinks of pairing the men up... and then retire from the phone by a few inches...
I got away with it. When it was my turn to dance with smelly old man, I pretended my ingrowing toenail was playing up and sat out for 30 seconds while somebody else took one for the team.
(There was a slight license there. The men weren't smelly as far as I could smell from my distance. Just an alcoholic woman who made your eyes burn with fumes of vodka and an unidentified mixer).
I continued... (I'm just including this for information now about what I've learnt)
The flexibility of lead-follow is definitely a cardinal..the cardinal... difference to understand in Blues, without precedent for me (and maybe others). Good, the men have carried that one for too long. Its hard work. In fact it's largely the way it needs to be for flow. I reckon it's not chance that that's the way most dances play out. Not sexist, just the best way to finally get women to do as they are bloody well told.
She'd informed me there was solo dancing in the blues too.......
I responded.
Hmm...so there's solo as well ! .. I can't find anyone on youtube making that look good...
I have found three categories, 70s disco sidesteppers, excruciating posers, and hardcore African junglers.
Frequently accompanied by a hysterical baying crowd. Many of whom may possibly benefit from a punch. And not a fruity one. One with a base of chin where someone arrives with ice.
Its OK-ish but defining fusion even at its most generous, it gets pretty scrappy and loses its identity, for me.
Where identity leads....charm, grace and impact follow.
Incorporation of solo moves must be the way to go..but breaking into solos the way some American youtube instructors do it is like introducing divorce half way through a marriage. Then trying to patch it up to get to the end of the song so you can complete the contract with the minimum of bloodshed and retain whatever dignity is musterable.
It doesn't scan.
It breaks mood.
It's a failure of communication.
Pretty much like using a word like 'musterable'. Although technically correct, it's hardly acceptable.
That's not to say intensity doesn't need punctuation, just that we Brits need to show 'em how.
Then I realised what you've just realised. I'd spent so much time writing the e-mail, that I had to call it a blog to justify it, stop drinking Rioja, and go to bed.
Goodnight.
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