Decentritation (n)
The presumably static (yet dynamic) force that annoyingly and at the last possible moment shifts the upper of the 2 pieces of paper that you have just painstakingly aligned as an overture to sellotaping them together.
Monday 27 April 2009
Sunday 26 April 2009
Picture This
You are sitting on a beach in Aruba.
Chatting quietly.
The beaches are public so you have full rights of access.
You have just bought lunch at the Hyatt.
Security from the hotel comes and asks you to move a few yards to the left.
You ask why.
He asks you again.
You ask why.
He asks you again.
You ask why again and he says there has been a complaint.
You say who, what, why etc?
The man 2 yards behind security owns up. It appears we are in his view.
Now he is paying say 1000 dollars a night.
We are paying nothing.
We are not shouting, fornicating or playing music.
What do you do?
Fight? Flight?
What do you do?
You can't be moved.
He can't move you.
You get a growing feeling someone needs to be taught a lesson but at this stage you are not sure who.
What to do?
The security chap seems like a pleasant fellow in a tight spot.
Stalemate.
Nobody's moving and you are beginning to enjoy the scenario as a mild amusement. You can see this playing out in a million ways over the next 20 minutes.
Five minutes well spent now could make the hotel guest's blood pressure visible from a mile away.
He has tattoos too. He is not helping his cause of reason.
Security then asks.... How do you think we should resolve this?
Genius!
What a great question?
And bit of a stumper.
You might think, resolve what? But it is the perfect question reasonably put.
A masterclass in how to handle a situation!
Think. Well, I could move. Then everyone wins.
Everyone but me.
I would have moved for an idiot. What will he learn then?
What to do?
Fight. Flight?
Think.
How can everyone save face without the need for verbal or physical violence.
Hmmm...Think.
Take a moment.
Recap.
Nice security man just doing his job.
Idiot hotel guest.
Me minding my own business.
Friend to take care of.
What to do?
Think.
Fight.
Flight.
Fight.
Flight.
Decision.
I'll move the 2 yards.
(Then to the security guard). "For you". (Then pointing to the idiot). "Not for him".
Everybody wins.
Security is ecstatic, collecting beach towels for us etc.
I learn a poetic new strategy.
Security saves face and makes the show of support for their guest.
Everybody wins.
Except the guy who complained.
He goes to find his cigarettes.
Chatting quietly.
The beaches are public so you have full rights of access.
You have just bought lunch at the Hyatt.
Security from the hotel comes and asks you to move a few yards to the left.
You ask why.
He asks you again.
You ask why.
He asks you again.
You ask why again and he says there has been a complaint.
You say who, what, why etc?
The man 2 yards behind security owns up. It appears we are in his view.
Now he is paying say 1000 dollars a night.
We are paying nothing.
We are not shouting, fornicating or playing music.
What do you do?
Fight? Flight?
What do you do?
You can't be moved.
He can't move you.
You get a growing feeling someone needs to be taught a lesson but at this stage you are not sure who.
What to do?
The security chap seems like a pleasant fellow in a tight spot.
Stalemate.
Nobody's moving and you are beginning to enjoy the scenario as a mild amusement. You can see this playing out in a million ways over the next 20 minutes.
Five minutes well spent now could make the hotel guest's blood pressure visible from a mile away.
He has tattoos too. He is not helping his cause of reason.
Security then asks.... How do you think we should resolve this?
Genius!
What a great question?
And bit of a stumper.
You might think, resolve what? But it is the perfect question reasonably put.
A masterclass in how to handle a situation!
Think. Well, I could move. Then everyone wins.
Everyone but me.
I would have moved for an idiot. What will he learn then?
What to do?
Fight. Flight?
Think.
How can everyone save face without the need for verbal or physical violence.
Hmmm...Think.
Take a moment.
Recap.
Nice security man just doing his job.
Idiot hotel guest.
Me minding my own business.
Friend to take care of.
What to do?
Think.
Fight.
Flight.
Fight.
Flight.
Decision.
I'll move the 2 yards.
(Then to the security guard). "For you". (Then pointing to the idiot). "Not for him".
Everybody wins.
Security is ecstatic, collecting beach towels for us etc.
I learn a poetic new strategy.
Security saves face and makes the show of support for their guest.
Everybody wins.
Except the guy who complained.
He goes to find his cigarettes.
Sunday 19 April 2009
Follow Your Dream... or the kid gets it
You know all this "follow your dream" crap.
Don't we get an awful lot of that rammed down our throats!
It barely leaves room for the foie gras.
And some of it is not as easy to swallow.
Do not get me wrong. I am a sucker for an eloquent quote that promises a few easy answers although I felt guilty yesterday using someone else's words when these are supposed to be mine.
Do we have the stats to make an informed decision?
Should you follow your dream at all costs ?
For every Oprah how many destitute failures are on the streets?
We only see the success stories of course - that is the way ths system is designed. Bury the errors.
You might be lucky but would you not be better off with a platitude such as "Make hay while the sun shines"? Or maybe you'd have more success with advice like "Don't max out your credit cards"
Maybe "follow your dream" needs an upgrade?
Maybe you should clear a couple of mortgage payments before following your dream.
Or maybe that's the point. You shouldn't!
I think the Manic Street Preachers came a little closer: Design Your Life.
The NLP guys come close too in referring to the mind: Choose Your State.
Hopefully it is not a crime against fate to stack the odds in your favour and add a dusting of practical sense to the meringue of life.
Don't we get an awful lot of that rammed down our throats!
It barely leaves room for the foie gras.
And some of it is not as easy to swallow.
Do not get me wrong. I am a sucker for an eloquent quote that promises a few easy answers although I felt guilty yesterday using someone else's words when these are supposed to be mine.
Do we have the stats to make an informed decision?
Should you follow your dream at all costs ?
For every Oprah how many destitute failures are on the streets?
We only see the success stories of course - that is the way ths system is designed. Bury the errors.
You might be lucky but would you not be better off with a platitude such as "Make hay while the sun shines"? Or maybe you'd have more success with advice like "Don't max out your credit cards"
Maybe "follow your dream" needs an upgrade?
Maybe you should clear a couple of mortgage payments before following your dream.
Or maybe that's the point. You shouldn't!
I think the Manic Street Preachers came a little closer: Design Your Life.
The NLP guys come close too in referring to the mind: Choose Your State.
Hopefully it is not a crime against fate to stack the odds in your favour and add a dusting of practical sense to the meringue of life.
Saturday 18 April 2009
That's easy for you to say
This is a nice quote from Steve Jobs I stumbled into today.
"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life.
Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking.
Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice.
And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.
They somehow already know what you truly want to become.
Everything else is secondary."
Yes, I am ready to do all those things. I keep thinking I can do them where I am but it's tough to find the time. Other people's schedules block my self-discipline.
You can only follow your favourite project if your inner voice work ethic leaves go a little. (That's American for "let's go a little")
And some projects are projects of isolation. Fine if you are Sartre and subscribe to the Hell Is Other People principle. Not so fine if you think People Is Life.
Nevertheless, I think a little intensive project deliverance is coming soon to a me near you.
It might take an amnesty with my conscience and a holiday for my work ethic.
But if that's what it takes then them's the breaks.
"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life.
Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking.
Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice.
And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.
They somehow already know what you truly want to become.
Everything else is secondary."
Yes, I am ready to do all those things. I keep thinking I can do them where I am but it's tough to find the time. Other people's schedules block my self-discipline.
You can only follow your favourite project if your inner voice work ethic leaves go a little. (That's American for "let's go a little")
And some projects are projects of isolation. Fine if you are Sartre and subscribe to the Hell Is Other People principle. Not so fine if you think People Is Life.
Nevertheless, I think a little intensive project deliverance is coming soon to a me near you.
It might take an amnesty with my conscience and a holiday for my work ethic.
But if that's what it takes then them's the breaks.
Tuesday 14 April 2009
And spills ....
Do we all want the same thing or do we all want different things.
I can never work it out. .
Some people like to dive - in sky or water - but I rather think that it is just looking at fish.
And I tend to prefer mine battered.
Some people like to bungee but that's just short lived terror, surely. And as hobbies and interests go, one that only last 20 second comes up well, a little short for me. Hardly something to take a pride in learning about or mastering. And yet when you ask people what they would like to do in their spare time....
As for trusting your life to the mathematics of a bleached haired shark-tooth wearing Australian well, I am afraid I am a broken record on that one.
Don't we want to appreciate things with a sense of excitement which is really... thrilling ...in a way that is challenging, all encompassing, both in the moment and yet connecting with the universe in some sort of sunday supplement metaphysical way.
Maybe it's video games - or is that phrase just showing my age. I am sure they are brilliant but their universe is pre-ordained, pre-discovered. Created by programming gods. You are discovering someone else's universe. A colourful journey perhaps and a fine privilege.
But thrilling?
Is it really thrilling?
Is it?
Maybe it's gambling or lust or sex.
Or dance .
Or knitting.
Or reading.
Or Coronation Street.
Maybe it's bikes. Or cars. Maybe you have diesel or kerosene running through your veins. There are certainly hard-wired engineers in the world who I think come close with their passions to the sort of excitement that I am struggling to define.
So the question to you is this.
What thrills you?
The question to me is totally different of course.
What thrills me?
I can never work it out. .
Some people like to dive - in sky or water - but I rather think that it is just looking at fish.
And I tend to prefer mine battered.
Some people like to bungee but that's just short lived terror, surely. And as hobbies and interests go, one that only last 20 second comes up well, a little short for me. Hardly something to take a pride in learning about or mastering. And yet when you ask people what they would like to do in their spare time....
As for trusting your life to the mathematics of a bleached haired shark-tooth wearing Australian well, I am afraid I am a broken record on that one.
Don't we want to appreciate things with a sense of excitement which is really... thrilling ...in a way that is challenging, all encompassing, both in the moment and yet connecting with the universe in some sort of sunday supplement metaphysical way.
Maybe it's video games - or is that phrase just showing my age. I am sure they are brilliant but their universe is pre-ordained, pre-discovered. Created by programming gods. You are discovering someone else's universe. A colourful journey perhaps and a fine privilege.
But thrilling?
Is it really thrilling?
Is it?
Maybe it's gambling or lust or sex.
Or dance .
Or knitting.
Or reading.
Or Coronation Street.
Maybe it's bikes. Or cars. Maybe you have diesel or kerosene running through your veins. There are certainly hard-wired engineers in the world who I think come close with their passions to the sort of excitement that I am struggling to define.
So the question to you is this.
What thrills you?
The question to me is totally different of course.
What thrills me?
Monday 13 April 2009
Neologisms 2
A smip (n)
The bit of red water settled on top of the tomato ketchup that you have to shake into the rest of the bottle to avoid it dribbling on your chips.
A tooph (n)
The irritating feeling when you fail to notice the bit of red water settled on top of the tomato ketchup, fail to shake it off and have it dribble on your chips.
The bit of red water settled on top of the tomato ketchup that you have to shake into the rest of the bottle to avoid it dribbling on your chips.
A tooph (n)
The irritating feeling when you fail to notice the bit of red water settled on top of the tomato ketchup, fail to shake it off and have it dribble on your chips.
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