Monday 24 June 2013

The Bearable Blurriness of Being

Many of us spend many years learning Method.

Method is a beginning for some artforms.
And an end for others.
It's fine in itself for task orientated work. Legal work for example, judicial arenas in general, care in the community.

But after learning method, we improvise technique. Technique is expertise. A high level of expertise is mastery. Mastery is an individual solution to an individual situation.
Individual solutions are needed in areas such as improvisational entertainment  (Improv), perhaps Info Technology (IT) and certain parts of (non-surgical) medical and paramedical disciplines.

Improvisation involves game, risk, play.
It might not suit a lawyer.
It might not suit a nurse.
It would suit a lawyer that sues a nurse however. There are plenty of holes in the ground where his earthworm can jump out. Then he can extend them, eating away at their blurry edges so that his victim falls through. 
He gets rich.
You get hurt. 

Mastery has to be just that. The degree of artistic and technical competence that can defeat a legal process that lies in wait.
You'll need every corner of your artistic brain to survive.

Give it some thought whenever you feel like bigging up your job description.
Think of that next time you think you want some limelight. 

Monday 17 June 2013

State of the Art Entertainment

I've just tuned in to my local radio station and it turns out they have a competition on. They have this mystery song and if you can identify the year it was a hit, you can phone in and perhaps win a prize or even a namecheck.

What will those imaginative funsters think of next?

Saturday 15 June 2013

Being Played - Part 2

Then  the BBC want to hire a 12th Doctor.
And (a secret insider tells us) we already have the name, it's Doctor Who's second Rory..... Rory Kinnear. A balding son of a well-loved chubby TV character actor, ideally suited to play corrupt politicians, and weak dodgy businessmen.
He is the new Doctor Who.
Don't make me laugh...
Best known for Charlie Brooker's "Black Mirror",  where he played a Prime Minister who was forced to have sex with a pig.
I can see the headlines now... "Woooeeeoooo.... It's Dr Pigfucker".

"We don't know who the new Doctor is....we've just started casting..... we are at the beginning of the process" scream the BBC.
"No. You are lying".
If Steven Moffat doesn't exactly who the new Doctor is, I will eat my sonic screwdriver and its two alkaline AAs.

Matt Smith was cast at least a year in advance, and he is currently filming his final two episodes.
They've made a masterclass out of misleading us about his exit, presumably (and understandably) because they're sick to death of talking about it. But pretending they didn't know exactly when it would be?..... Do me a favour!
My guess is they knew years ago.

And now we're supposed to believe this ridiculous decoy information, designed to irritate and get tabloid coverage, with the usual ridiculous (I pray and trust) rumours. Somebody will be predicting the next Doctor is going to be Joanna Lumley long after she's left this mortal coil. She will need to regenerate herself to substantiate the rumours.
And so we are being played again.
For idiots.

For what it's worth, .. you can stick with John Hurt for me all the way up until there is a scene where he has to run ... then if the licence payer can't afford the CGI (after all, its not as it the BBC just threw away a hundred million quid on a failed IT project that The Moff could have been given for the 50th), then my money is on Daniel Rigby.
You won't catch either of those chaps on the wrong end of a farmyard animal anytime soon.

When The Truth Lies

I've seen Reginald D Hunter 5 or 6 times before.
His latest show was a worry as reviews were bizarrely polarised. 
In the Midst of Crackers received either 5 stars or 1 star in reviews and not much in between. A bit strange I thought..

Well, I can reassure you (a little bit), it is a 3 star show, and the first hour is 4 stars, before one of the most extraordinary things you will ever see on a stage occurs. Reginald D Hunter capsizes his own boat.

So what went wrong?
Well, in short, he betrays the trust of his public , alienates the audience, and never gets them back. Entertainment is about creating "state" but Reginald D Hunter's mojo for this, well... it must be lying in state.

Specifically though, what went wrong?
After a very good first hour, Reg's seppuku was set in motion by, but crucially was not ultimately caused by, a  joke about rape. Shocking? Not at all...this is the UK in 2013. We've heard all this before.  Rape jokes were very popular about three or four years ago. It's quaint that Reg is still doing this material.
The joke was fine but well... familiar, even a little old.

Of course,  being Reg he didn't so much tell a joke as perform a story piece about rape. Perform it so compellingly, that in convincing himself, he convinced his audience. (Is that what they call method acting?)  And this was a perfectly serviceable joke. SPOILER ALERT I'm going to tell you what it is.

This will not be the word perfect but it will build a bit of the atmosphere the audience experienced. He quietly tells a story of a friend of his who was having a lot of difficulty in personal relationships and her life in general was decaying  with depression and mistrust.
He takes extra painstaking efforts to deliver this in his most honest, truest delivery. He stands stiller. He speaks quieter. It's deliberate.
She opens up to Reg and tells them that she was raped by someone she trusted when she was a lot younger and since then she has had difficulty trusting men. She had never been able to call the police as she felt humiliated and embarrassed.  (Are you laughing yet?). These feelings and decisions were projected into the rest of her life. She draws a distinction with her friend Reg, noting that he'd never thrust himself upon her physically. To which Reg quips."Well, I never knew you wouldn't call the police"

Fine, a perfectly serviceable, edgy, well-constructed joke for open-minded people. So what's the problem? We are at a live comedy gig. We like Reg...so what?

Well, so what ... is that he lost the audience for the rest of the show. His practised,  deliberate performance , delivered such malice. It could've been quickly brushed away , with his undoubted skill. But he didn't bother. He left it leaking, hanging, growing. The next half an hour was painful. He found a few laughs in the end, but he thought he would treat himself to several double vodkas along the way. My guess is he had a few more afterwards. I would have.

He seemed vaguely aware that something had gone wrong, but didn't seem to know what it was. He was lost, searching for someone or something to blame.  He didn't know how to get out.
It's reasonable to believe that an audience approaching 2000 people, that several people in the audience had endured a sexual attack at some point. How much deference we are supposed to paid to this in such a performance, I don't know. I'm not a professional comedian. But a cold sadness went through that room, of which Yvette Fielding and Derek Acorah would have been thrilled.

Cue an unprovoked attack on a couple of people at the front who had not heckled him. He was a couple of large vodkas in at this point and presumably didn't like the look of them. His attack "I'd like to see you two fuck" . Big laugh! Bit weird. The people he was attacking looked unhappy for a prolonged time. He wanted to chat with them, but this is an experienced audience. He had a microphone and had already used it as a tool to rape one presumably fictional family friend, the majority of the audience and now was looking for further victims.

Three vodkas in, judgement was waning. And  there was a fourth  to come.

He found the time to have a dig at Bernard Manning whom he defined as a "racist". I'm afraid I'm with Stephen Fry on this one when he referred to the late Bernard Manning as the greatest joke teller of his time.   Reg has some work to do to achieve this standard. Perhaps he might focus on this instead of talking ill of the dead.
The reason I remembered this moment was that Reg made an interesting distinction between his own "racial" humour, and the "racist" humour that Bernard performed. What an elegantly convenient, conceit. No, I mean it. Really, really, elegant.
But when Bernard Manning told us that an Englishman, an Irishman and a Pakistani went into a pub, we knew it was a joke.

Several reviewers noted people leaving the theatre with looks of dejection, anxiety in their faces rather than smiles. A friend who went  to the show told me they woke up feeling sad over the following days. I believe Reg did harm that night. More than Bernard Manning did in his entire career.  Comedy has to reflect the times, it has to play to the people, not to the ego. Bernard never lost sight of that.

Reg may console himself with some sycophantic tweets.
But he doesn't need to panic, he has a further ready-made excuse backed up by his entourage. He blames a secret mysterious character he knows as .... LIVE Reg.
In fact, let's get rid of that one once and for all.
"People think I'm the Reg that you see on Have I Got News For You. Live Reg ain't like that".
I don't know how you write a YAWN in text. But consider it done.
It's a silly conceit. Britain was at the forefront of edgy comedy when Reg was in diapers.

Why would an experienced comedian choose to commit suicide on stage The only possible excuse, other than contempt for his audience (which cannot be the case) would perhaps be the challenge of getting the audience back on board and the show back on track, in the quickest possible time. Reg is more than capable of doing this. I would have bet real money he'd have achieved this within 30 seconds.
But in Newcastle the Reg  I saw didn't even know the crowd was lost. The black feeling oozed through the auditorium like an slick, dragging us tiringly through 50 more painful minutes. Minutes which contained some good material. But when you throw the towel in so compellingly, you don't get to take it back.

And sadly, Reg doesn't do 45 minutes halves. Nooooooooo! He thinks is playing an arena every night. He wanders on the time that suits him after the interval (having forced on us a comedian we never choose, like we don't have better things to do...usually someone fairly shaggy and frequently Australian), leaves when he feels like it, and last week (which is how long I've waited to write this in the hope I would feel differently) seeming not to care about the mood he left behind in others.

Intervals aren't only for audiences who kindly lubricated themselves for him to make his show go well. They are also an opportunity for the comedian too. One he sorely needed.

I could equally have titled this reflection "When The Truth Dies".
I'm not sure the  artist currently known as Reginald D Hunter, always knows where the truth lies but I don't think it's the end of the fourth double vodka.
He needs to reframe "Live Reg" into "Lairy Reg", something that is a little more honest, a little less grand, that plays a little less to its own sense of self. Because currently his sense of self is misfiled.

Reg considers himself a thinker, more so perhaps than a comedian,  but if he takes only his own advice or that of Twitter, he could stay lost  for a while.
I love a bit of psychology with my comedy. Perhaps if he wants to see it done really well, he should go and watch Daniel Kitson.
When you are a true therapist or psychologist or clinician, there are responsibilities, ethics, a code of practice. And even as a comedian, perhaps even more so, you have to respect the same principles.

There is one overriding true principle.
And it is this.
Do. No. Harm.

Too many years ago, I saw a comedian in my local comedy club who signed off with these words which I have always loved and  remembered.

"Support your local comedy club. It's the only place you can go to hear the truth".

Do you remember that, Reg?

Now ask yourself the same question.

Without the comma.

Friday 14 June 2013

Eggs & Tits

Do you ever feel like you're being played?

Case in point. A live Saturday night Britain's Got Talent final where Simon Cowell gets, wait for it ... egged.
The outrage!
Is this really the best we can do? An egging?
And this wasn't delivered by some 20 stone Father 4 Justice scaling the stage in a Superman outfit. No, they save themselves for spray-painting a portrait of the Queen. Well done, fellas.
The "perpetrator" cast in this role was a giggling viola player in a black dress, throwing out half a dozen 'free-range', frankly... like a girl.
If it was up to me all the parties involved would have been hard-boiled.
Presumably viola-girl was told there is no such thing as bad publicity, when the genius behind this "sensational" live event got to sign her contract of silence.

Even Simon had a magnanimous egg-related pun to deliver just in case you doubted the stunt's lack of authenticity. A live joke from somebody as comedically witless as a man who stays up to 3am watching the Flintstones every morning? That's the most improbable thing of all.

And in the same show, in a lesser publicised incident, Amanda Holden decides while , barely needing to move from the sitting position, to lop a tit out in a manoeuvre commonly known as the celebrity nipple slip.
Really? She wasn't dancing the fecking lambada for crying out loud.

We don't mind being played.
Frequently we will even play along.


But for goodness sake, put some effort in.

3 Alternative Uses for Toothbrush Heads

Dear Phillips Customer Services

Please use the following scientific information as you see fit, and feel free to add to your instructional literature.

Please consider recycling old heads from your electric toothbrush when no longer considered suitable for the oral cavity:

1. Try using them to clean the sink. In tests, I found this idea to be "Jolly Good"
2. Use them to clean between your toes. In tests, I found this idea to be "Pleasantly Repeatable"
3. Use them to clean old coins from metal detecting. In tests I found this idea to be "Somewhat Useless"

Summary
Wherever there is a tricky space, a bit of vibration and ultrasound is a jolly good thing.

Thank you for reading.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Sir
 
Thank you very much for the advise (sic)! I think it is an excellent idea, I do not know if we can actually add it to user manual, but I will pass this to our technical department and perhaps we can use it to guide our Customers.
  
Kind regards,
Andrew  

Philips Customer Care 

Thursday 13 June 2013

John Shuttleworth's Secret Identity?

Have we learned the truth the man behind the tan leather jacket...? 
Is he really the fastest homespun, singer-songwriter in the West?

Should Have Gone To...

I wonder if they would have accepted two answers to this question?


because it seems strangely familiar ......................


Can You Keep A Secret?

Hope so!

Saturday 8 June 2013

The Weatherfield One-or-Two More

I hear Ken Barlow and Kevin Webster are protesting their innocence.

I thought the prosecution might do that for them.