Sunday 28 February 2010

Getting tough.

A couple of day ago, Walter Koenig's son.
Today, Marie Osmond's adopted son.
Two weeks ago, designer Alexander McQueen.
Dead by their own hands.

I know depression is an illness.
I know if you add booze and drugs to a vulnerable character you are asking for it.
But there is something else wrong here, isn't there?

I know whales beach themselves for reasons we don't understand. But we cannot blame the deaths of young men on electromagnetic short circuits in the earth's crust.
I know Black Widows kill their mate and I have seen enough nature programmes to know that dispensing a killer sting can be a mutually fatal type of justice or that an act of copulation may turn out to be an act of euthanasia.
But humans surely have the monopoly on these most pointless acts of self sacrifice.

Is it to do with fame, society, money?
Is it lack of fulfilment, purpose, giving, engaging?
Is there neglect from missed opportunities?
Accidental neglect and not total of course, but is there an aspect of it?

Surely we can agree, whatever it was they needed, they didn't get.
And anyone with entry level psychobabble know that things work best when we get what we need from life rather than what we (think we) want.
Surely we can agree that any couple you know has a different life when the front door closes to when you see them? Celebrity or no. Look at the domestic abuse or just the divorce figures if you want a concrete clue.
Is there something invisible to the outside world that was overlooked?

Maybe it was impossible to bridge that gap.
And maybe it wasn't.
Maybe there was something that could have been done. Not to make the underlying problem evaporate but to reclaim some level of stability.

It's hard to believe in something intangible. And I would guess that just as many people who have the brain aberration that make them believe in gods would find this too.
How can depression be an illness rather than a collection of events? It doesn't even show up on a CT scan so how can it really exist?
It does exist of course. We just might need a scanner a million times more sensitive.
Until then, we need to borrow a little blind faith from the puff-of-smoke-on-a-cloud brigade and drink in a little well-accepted medical knowledge.

Maybe entertainers are prone because they lower their resilience so regularly. Actors drop their shields for our entertainment and we accept their sacrifice whatever the cost.
How often do you hear them go on about applying the method of 'sense memory'? They practice identifying with their darkest times, so they can find them easily when the director says "Action".
If you are the wrong type of character, this is a recipe for disaster. But there is no psych evaluation for RADA. The very thing the army might reject may be the same thing that makes you the world's greatest actor.
You become what you rehearse so when you make yourself feel that way so regularly those feelings surface to a place of dangerous accessibility. And they can bleed through when you don't expect. They can appear when they are not useful and not just six times a week plus matinees.
Such free reign for your emotions may not be a good thing in ordinary life. Murder defences have rested on less. And it is likely that for the sensitive people we are talking about, suicide is a million times easier than murder.

Our survival is based on our filters. Cut them and we leak through.
And if your version of reality faces the "real" world outside without those filters in pretty good nick, your version will lose.
You will lose yourself.
The game's up.

You have to get tough to survive.
But you don't have to get tough with the vulnerable people. They are in a bad enough state already. You have to help them get tough. It is a totally different set of skills.

Maybe we can reset this vulnerability and upgrade their barriers. There is an entire discipline of cognitive therapy devoted to this, though doubtless they would phrase it differently.

I know depression is an illness.
But a prescription of antidepressants from a brief appointment does not absolve everyone around them from offering their own type of cure - in the words of Andrew Koenig's father "Extend a hand".
Together these improvised approaches may get lucky and cement a wall of sufficient resilience to block the demons when the powers of darkness rise.

Friday 26 February 2010

Extend a hand

I watched Star Trek IV last week.
For the first time in 20 years. (I'd been saving it).
Although during that time I spent a good 6 months cosied up with the rather lovely soundtrack (on tape cassette), featuring an orchestra playing such riproaring such classics as 'Chekov's Run'.
The movie was a great ensemble piece for all the cast to do a bit - not just Spock, Bones and Kirk.
It was every bit as good as I remember.
A gift that was there in the bank ready for me when I wanted it.

And if you were part of that gift well, what a wonderful thing...

Thank you.

And I am so sorry.

Click me.

Thursday 25 February 2010

I hear you Google. What do you need me to do?

How long would it take to identify a clip used in an episode of Family Guy?
A soundbite from a movie saying "Don't you do it!" shouted at the top of a voice.
A movie I knew I had seen.
And enjoyed.
But not for oh.. let's say 20 years.
The answer to achieve this impossiblity? To reach that decades-old echo in my head.
Well, it was 3 seconds.
An Officer and a Gentleman.
When I saw the answer I could see Richard Gere's pain, anguish, sweat with the mud and rain in his face. And his hope externalised.
It was memorable because it was raw and pretty brilliant.
A base instant long-lasting connection made through a TV screen and unbroken 20 years later.
Then referenced from a cartoon. Clearly because it was equally memorable to its writers.
Fed back through the TV.
The connection then illuminated by Google. And the circle is complete.
That's modern life.
That's entertainment.
That's technological power beating with a human heart.

Tuesday 23 February 2010

A mistake anyone could make

I bought a car at the weekend.
I told the salesman I wanted something with "pulling power".

He sold me a breakdown vehicle.

Thank you very much.

Sunday 21 February 2010

The Comfort Zone - a poem

Just outside Adventure Boulevard
Is a place to walk alone
It's a spit from boredom lane
And it's called the Comfort Zone.

Some have doubted its existence
Called the merry dance a tease
But with lame, steady persistence
Your journey that way leads.

It's down the rabbit’s burrow
And it's off the beaten track
It’s away from all the potholes
Hard to find your true way back.

It's a trip down easy street
It's a measure of success
A mysterious co-ordinate
Between this world and the next.

It’s a wormhole free of dirt and grime
A sterile wonderland
It’s flavour-free
Low calorie
With the soundbite of a mime.

It’s a test for the cartographers
It’s a visit to the beach
It’s a walk in the park
It’s an animal friend
You can’t let off the leash.

It’s handcuffs
Self-imposed restraint
It’s a pit of lost potential
It’s heroine
It’s crack cocaine
It’s a broken glass tangential.

It's how you frame ‘reality’
Your best version of the world
It’s the greedy need for total clarity
That borders on absurd.

It's a plumped-up cushion
And a padded cell
A summit of understanding
It's the closest thing
You’ll find to hell
It’s the stairs upto your landing.

It’s a warm hypnotic couch
With a pillow for your head
Where yearning finally takes its leave
And dreams are put to bed.

It's a box for your uncertainty
A bedrock for your soul
It's a forest filled with fear
It’s the save that stops the goal.

It's a chance to spread your wings
Opportunity in cognito
It’s a space for nice and pleasant things
Where ambition is finito.

It’s Sunday football
It’s shopping at home
It’s modern man’s atrocity
It’s ‘let’s have children’
Maybe they’ll have the guts
To reach escape velocity.

It's the dream of many mortals
But it's a beast with double head
A house of safety, warmth and love
With walls of gingerbread.

It's a positive, wonderful way to die
It's a million useless mantras
It's a warm and cosy place to lie
With a pea under the mattress.

Why not run the gauntlet
Through the gorse of life
Scratch yourself on depravity
Pick its locks
Push its pull
Escape its central gravity.

Reach outside its boundaries
Where banshees scream and wail
And hail and lightning fill the skies
And terror might prevail, or stay
Where atmosphere is constant
In this biogesic dome
In this paradise
This bubble
This terrible land
We call the Comfort Zone.

Saturday 20 February 2010

Definition of Hope

Definitions No 22

Hope (n): Filling up at the petrol station and stopping at a bay where your petrol tank is on the opposite side to the pump.

Wednesday 17 February 2010

Missing Inaction

You don't hear much from Palitoy anymore do you?

Tuesday 16 February 2010

Door decorum

Huge aisles.
Every whim catered for.
Every thought anticipated.
Thousands of baskets and trolleys.
Tills as afar as the eye can see.
Expanses of car parks.
Everything you could want,
And delivery if you ask.
24 hours each an every day
But.
But.
They have the smallest doorways in Christendom.
There's no way in that isn't a way out.
You have to drop a shoulder to avoid the charity muggers and trolley wielding chavs.
Please Tesco's Asda and the rest. Broaden your entries. Widen your exits.
Let's have a little door decorum.

Monday 15 February 2010

Look In!

There once was a magazine called Look In.
It wasn't a magazine about self-improvement. It was about TV.
And if this strikes any sort of chord it may be due to the irritatingly catchy theme tune during its relentless advertising campaigns.
But what does it mean to Look In?
Maybe it merits an introspective.
To 'look in' means to watch television.
At least in "our 'ouse".

And the reason I feel confident in that is not the crazy adverts but comes from my grandma and was the subject of much mimicry between me and, more particularly, my brother.
She would ask semi-frequently "Are you looking in?".
Meaning....are you going to watch some TV?
In its original form it may sound like a question from the existentialists?
Are you looking in? Are any of us really looking in? Etc etc.
A conundrum from the philosophers. A point of entry for the bloggers. One for Pamela Stephenson's Shrink Rap, maybe.

It's even a great subject for the nation's last religious nod - the Thought for the Day.
I can imagine some vicar, priest, rector, vector, whatever they are called asking his flock if at the end of a busy day if they should all perhaps "look in".
And then twittering something about where they should 'look in' : their soul maybe, their heart, their personal hurdles, ITV, whatever....

Maybe the vicar will look in.
He should.
Dawkins is on TV tonight.

Thursday 11 February 2010

The next big thing

It is nice to tie in a lyrical thought with a popular reference.
And so my next poem or song lyric is going to be entitled the Smile of Jeremy Kyle.
As well as its own sweet internal rhyme, I can think of a lots of motifs to go with this show of humanity - invisible, untried, a painful struggle, all of which lend themselves well to a brief work worthy of note.
And it should much easier than trying to rhyme anything with vicious, snarling, malevolent f***wit.

Wednesday 10 February 2010

Harassment

I reckon if I slapped a fellow office worker on the bum, I could be accused of sexual harassment. Fair enough.
But..
If I asked a fellow office worker if it was OK if I slapped her on the bum, I bet I could also be accused of sexual harassment.

What on earth is going on with that ?

Remembering the Teasmade

Remember the Teasmade? If you still use one, I doff my flat cap to you.
But how about having a Flannelmade. Or for the US market, the FaceCloth Maid?
What about waking to a hot towel that you can rub into your face pretending each morning that you were already 2 hours into a long haul flight before tucking into a breakfast of Bombay Mix and Buck's Fizz (business class only)?
Would that help me get up on a morning? Can you rub the a.m. away?
Lord I hope so. I had to have the timed bedside microwave specially commissioned.

Thursday 4 February 2010

Neologisms 5

Side-parting (n):
1) A hairstyle for American politicians and photographs from the 70s
2) The unfortunate occurrence when you are peeling a banana and the top is so tough that it fails to break when you bend it resulting in the side splitting and presenting a dilemma of how you should now access the nutritious food within.

Squeeb (n)
A unfortunate banana split (see above)