Press Verse

You need a little background. I work for an organisation that has just received a seal of recognition, renewal is every three years, our offices are named after Real Ales one of which is Waggle Dance, we never use the word 'patient' much to my irritation, there's a huge ongoing argument about the differences between accuracy and precision that has initiated a series of migraines in at least four of my colleagues, and finally a rival organisation failed to win similar accreditation...so when we were asked for a quote for the press, this was my suggestion.

Ready?... Let's go ......

The word on the street

Was a calm crepitation

First a whisper.

Then a fanfare.

Of Accreditation!

The powers that be

Thought us ‘very robust’

‘Believe what they say

They’re a source you can trust’.

‘They can help a mere mortal

Make important decisions’

‘They’re not much for accuracy

But they have laser precision’.

But you must involve ‘patients’

That's one of our stages

We can’t see them mentioned

And we’ve checked all your pages.

We said you mean ‘the people

who have a disease’ ?

They looked at us funny.

They didn’t seem pleased.

You really must do this

To improve your site.

We said ‘Forget it’

(We still got the kite).

It’s a feather in the cap

It’s a mark of success

It’s an excuse for Sharon

To put on her dress.

It’s time for a booze-up.

We could put a band on.

And rename Waggle Dance

To Moet and Chandon.

So enjoy the clapping

Seal of approval

‘cos in three years time

We’re up for removal!

Well done to all

And my only suggestion

Is enjoy the success

And don't tell 'Map of Medicine'.