No More Doctors

I am reliably informed yesterday offered was an ‘encomium’. Nice word.
Now for today, pick a clinical problem and find out what happens if it goes unrecognized with my new nurse-practitioner problem sorter.
Pick a number between more than 10 and less than 100.

Now look up the first digit on my new symptom-sorter-instant-diagnosis-0-matic to identify a problem you may relate to.
To discover the inevitable consequences look up the second digit on the second list.

(If you have a zero go to number 10).

A
1) I like to leave my TV on standby
2) I have a fondness for pork scratchings and out-of-date avocados
3) I like to sit in the hot sun
4) I very much enjoy the work of Jeremy Kyle
5) I often cross the road before the green man lights up
6) I tend to keep frustrations bottled up
7) I spend a great deal of time looking in the mirror
8) I often eat peanuts after midnight
9) I never miss Eurovision
10) I very much respect windsurfers

.. and I can reasonably expect that to ….

B
1) make my fingernails drop off
2) cause catastrophic diarrhoea.
3) make my underwear feel tight.
4) Increase the hairiness of my feet by 70 - 80%
5) create new job opportunities
6) anger those around me.
7) add on a good ten years.
8) give me the nails of an old Spaniard.
9) increase the chance of me going on a killing spree in years to come
10) make me a better person

For further details, please speak to your GP