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There may be times when you have struggled with the darkness.

Times that piqued your interest in areas of conspiracy, the unknown, the unexplained.

The corners of your psyche may briefly have entertained the existence of areas where you have struggled with humanity or relationships or death. Or exams. Or driving on the left or right. Or why one of the otherwise very limited flavours of custard include banana.

You may have spent years coming to terms with the uncertainty of your job or life, death or wages, decency, integrity and the difference between life and living.

We won't discover all those answers in our lifetimes.

A single objection from a senior corrupt Egyptian historian (Egyptologist, really?) means we'll never know what is hidden under the front paws of the Sphinx. We may never discover the Hall of Records. We won't have a man on Mars in our lifetime, and when we set foot on the moon again, it will probably be part of a reality TV series.

But there are other darker, deeper and more sinister unknowns. Things that it is hard to see where reason lies. Or if. 

We can understand that we get light from 93 million miles away and even that our life-giving Sun will eventually die although not before mourning the death of its third child for millions of years. (Gaiea is female you know),

There are darknesses, horrors, sinisterisms that may never be explained. Not in any form that is decent or right, logical or coherent.

They have had many names throughout history. 

They've taken many forms. 

But I'm here to tell you of the current vessels they plumb their depths in.

Tell no-one or tell everyone. 

Only you can choose.

The vaults of the unexplained names these putrid devils for eternity and they are two.

Russell Howard and Dermot O'Leary.

Save us Lord if, in your darkest nightmares, we have deserved anything that may visit us next.