I'm not big on defending the strange human creatures known as vegetarians. You know those translucent strangenesses who walk on and live off the shoulders of meat-eating giants. It must be difficult to face such a large platefuls of hypocrisy on a daily basis. I would have thought that the betrayal of our ancestors might end up short-circuiting the weaker of their number imploding them in a puff of rocket and Parmesan shavings.
But if I were to take the side of our vegetarian fiends.. for just a moment..then I might try to persuade my "normal" friends to prefix their meat dishes with the word "dead".
Surely, you'd be able to convert a few to your religion by re-designating their 'chicken sandwich' a 'dead chicken sandwich' or their Christmas dinner a 'dead turkey roast'.
You don't get the same effect with dead carrot juice and dead Stilton and crackers.
Particularly as the Stilton isn't dead, and I am not 100% on the mortality status of the carrot.
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