Tuesday 25 August 2015

No Spitting

I have just been for a "steam"..
A steam room,  Turkish sauna - is that the same thing?
I'll never know - I have given up Googling and everybody I know is stupid.

Two girls spat at me.
Allow me to explain. And stop me if you know this and I am the only one who didn't.

The first came in and leaned on my shoulder (permission not given), then spat at the wall, which fell on me. She apologised and told me 'Everyday's a School Day'.

Not everyday love, I thought. We are not that lucky.

Her friend came in, repeated the action and missed the wall so it went down my back.

They explained the "thing" on the wall was some kind of thermostat.
Spit cold water at it and the room heats up.

I suggested there could also hold the water in their cupped cleavage in a tacky US mid-west whore sort of way.
At least I was going to... then decided against it
This is Scotland.
Somebody had to be a bit English.

So I actually told her that now I had something I had to write about in my blog tonight.

Aaand you are upto speed

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