Shush...

I've been hearing about the Crufts' dog who seems to have been poisoned.

'Poisoning' seems vague so I'm guessing the toxicology has not come back yet. But apparently there are enough suspicious circumstances for this doggy death to be diagnosed as canine-icide.

And so of course they have been wheeling out the dog psychologists.

Now, and this is my point..... they usually called the sort of Charlie's "whisperers", don't they?

Given that the poorly distinguished history of human psychology in the past hundred years, the idea that we have animal psychologists at all is pushing it, to put it at its most polite. But whisperers!

It implies an arrogance that they have a real Dr Dolittle type- connection manifest through their "whispering".

It's not a big leap from that to psychic.

But they're keeping it sexy and slightly legit though very few dogs litigate. They are sprinkling the pixie dust and keeping it magical, keeping it spiritual, a little bit supernatural - without being absolutely totally barmy.

It's cheeky and very profitable.

And what are they whispering about anyway. What is this whispering?

What part of it isn't vanity?

And where are the human whisperers?

Counsellors brag about never giving advice and only listening. They don't even counsel.

So they're not even coming up with anything at any volume at all. Either at a pitch that registers with human or animal ears.

I suppose the animal "whisperers" cannot claim just to be "great listeners" so they have a problem they need to acquit. "Whispering" is their solution.

It's like an admission that they need to do something, but of course communicating at a normal volume would be to use the Barbara Woodhouse approach. And we are just so much more subtle nowadays.

A little healthy whispering never hurt anybody. And who can criticise. They can't hear what you're whispering. That's why it's called whispering. It's secret.

What would we call a human whisperer anyway ...a guru? A coach. Yes that's it, isn't it? Lifestyle coaches. Life coaches.

So we've established that the whisperers don't whisper.

And the talkers don't talk.

It's no wonder psychology is in the state it's in.

I say stop your whispering.

Stop your new supernatural nonsense.

And start shouting change.

Screaming it. 

Yelling it before you invoice it. 

Start yelping it and yapping it.

In short...deliver it. 

In your own time, of course.