Ten things that have arrived on my tits

• Anybody who eats anything in any cinema screening I attend (I'm not a maniac. I have no problem with the other 99.999% of screenings)
• Putting soap in the softener drawer (Clown!) 
• Chicken-flavoured crisps - hardly a sapictive phenomenon - they are the the waste of a taste bud, readied and primed for an experience.
• The response of the 999 operator when you tell them you have put soap in the softener drawer.
• People who say Happy Monday to you (or any other day of the week. This isn't 1984. I'm okay with any festival-related greeting though. I'm not a maniac)
• Lyme disease
• How irons are filled.
• Re-released albums (Pleeease! This isn't 1983)
• American Mother's Day (that's caused me more than it's fair share of confusion and guilt)
• People who don't take the door from you when you hold it open for them (usually pregnant women or utter bastards)