The Emperor Collection

I've ordered myself a puzzle box of clothes from a business that made it through Dragon's Den this week - "Enclothed".

Seems like quite a good idea so I thought I would give it a crack. Kind of a personalised service. In a fashion.

You don't even have to buy them up front.

You get them on approval.

Does anybody remember that concept? Approval. They don't even charge your credit card. It is taking me back to my days thumbing the Stanley Gibbons catalogue.

I advised Toby (my apparently real stylist) to avoid red. I've not knowingly ever carried it off.

And Toby contacted me a few hours later to ask me if pink was OK.

PINK!

So I e-mailed him back both barrels.

"Hate pink – on me and everyone else.

It has been the biggest trick the fashion industry has ever pulled to persuade anybody that they look good in pink. 

They don't.

Hugh Grant, maybe. 

Once. 

In 1985.

 

All men look terrible in it and they deserve our displeasure.

At best, it's a sign of a used car salesman or dodgy toff. 

At worst it is a sign of a deluded half-wit.

It always grabs attention as the most displeasing thing in the room, worthy of more comment than its owner. You are no longer an individual. 

You are the idiot who chose to wear  the pink shirt. 

You might as well have broken wind loudly after an intensive cabbage diet.

So no.

No pink for me thanks".

And tonight, a few hours later, he phoned me up to tell me he was wearing pink.

But he was joking.

To tell me he only had pink clothes left.

And he was joking.

To tell me there would be a delay in my order.

He wasn't joking.

So I reassured him that I couldn't care less when the delivery came and that a delay would be fine.

I can see how any new organisation could possibly be fully prepared for an instant national launch on a prime-time transmission on a popular TV programme. 

And he phoned to tell me that at the end of a very long day, he thoroughly enjoyed my e-mail and it was a very welcome read.

So that's nice, isn't it?

Somebody phoning me up to tell me he liked my joke.

That's service.

This business could go far.