1. Anyone who sticks their tongue out on photos. (And everybody they know).
2. The other singer in Madness.
3. SCART sockets.
4. Dentists who push Sensodyne.
5. The crippingly inane Dermot O'Leary in all his pointless guises.
6. Unlocking my car over a street drain.
7. Anyone who says they are speechless.
8. The lyrics to Mack The Knife.
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