Sandwich Break

I was listening to Danny Baker yesterday and he asked the question 'how do cut your sandwich -  across the middle or diagonally?'

His assistant said she cut it down the middle and saved the top bit till last.

He queried this concept, but I know what she means. The top bit is the best bit. It's a sign of admirable self restraint to save that till the end. Some would eat it first, but leave themselves looking at crustily angular remainder.

A diagonally-cut sandwich of course yields that shop-bought feel. 

And eliminates two unsavourily dry points where crust meets crust.

Sure, it's an open invitation for the innards of the sarnie to drop onto your trousers, but Pret a Manger has made a perfectly good living out of exactly this sort of behaviour which is why they open all their franchises next to a dry cleaners.

Personally the oblique technique (which is what I have just decided I call it) is something I reserve for special occasions. I don't like to live beyond my means.

However there is a third way.

A little-known method. A darker route to satiety.

I'm willing to bet that many of my thousands of readers have never cut a sandwich in this way.

Some never will.

It is the longitudinal cut, through the top, and through the bottom.

It's not for the fainthearted. 

It's mix of symmetry and asymmetry will leave you uneasy. Queasy even.

If you've never done it before, for Gods sake, don't do it alone. 

That it makes the sign of the cross will not save you. 

You cut a sandwich this way at your own risk.

But know this....

It's how the devil gets in.