Back When - a retrospective

When you wrote with the hope Jim would fix your dream.
And turned off each light with a bedtime routine.
When mouses squeaked instead of clicked.
And dancing wasn’t so colourfully strict.

When a job was for life and a pension was waiting.
When Sunday was just for creating and waiting.
And the weather was weather and not Armageddon.
When we had a few senses we hadn't yet deadened.

When pies left on sills always got snaffled.
And police were hard-working but invariably baffled.
When what defined rivalry was Beano V Dandy.
When you sniggered at singers who called themselves Randy.

When a finger of Fudge was never enough.
And toys were made to be Tonka tough.
And you could tell a Bully because it prefixed their name.
And a bunch of daffs was, well, exactly the same.

Before TV taught us to be an Apprentice.
And sweets were a treat when you’d been to the dentist.
When state of the art was a propelling pencil
And you'd the perfect excuse to use a chemistry stencil.

When homework seemed so trigonometrically tricky,
When you're keeping half an eye on Metal Mickey.
And you wondered how ever you could take a wife.
When Daisy Duke was such a part of your life.

When your name said by teacher was highly alarming.
And geography included arable farming
Along with the habitat of the cotton boll weevil.
While sports teachers defined a new type of evil.

Before the loss that the loss of innocence causes.
Before we gave in to so many divorces.
And you thought that a Church was a place you'd be safe.
Till the children fell silent and were told “Be brave”.

When fear was installed into a nation
As the evening news told of yet another detonation.
Before home taping killed music dead.
(Or was that Deeply Dippy by Right Said Fred?)

When a Carry On film was a guilty pleasure
And a golden hare was a national treasure
And jokes were not so much offensive as bawdy,
And you weren't really sure how to say “Audi”.

When Frustration was designed to cure your boredom,
Before the abomination formerly known as Jordan.
With exams, tests, rehearsals, you put all you could in.
Yet happiness was still a spare Yorkshire pudding.

When you were still entertained by Alphabetti Spaghetti.
But danger wasn’t danger without Hans Moretti.
When you could dismiss without needing abbreviation.
When a smile was a smile and not punctuation.
When you would ask Why and were told Because.
Then you could believe it was butter.
Because it was.