Tuesday 1 March 2016

Crisis in Reality Television

A new emergency was reported today threatening the future of all television reality programs.
Excessive demand has meant that  75% of TV production companies have run out of pizzicato music.

Localised pockets of low supply were ignored and have led to a disaster of Rolfian proportions.
The cheery resource, designed to punctuate a quirky scene, or introduce a couple of new characters walking up a street, or somebody arriving with a bunch of flowers at an unexpected door, or a little bit of something going a little bit wrong, or just about anything else has come as an absolute surprise to clueless executives.

The musical form previously reserved exclusively for Polkas has undergone such a resurgence in recent years that it has become a firm friend of Gordon Ramsay's Kitchens  and Duncan Bannatyne's Dens. 
The tinkly incidental pretty much follows Alex Polizzi wherever she goes.
Hillary DeVey (pronounced like Bouquet and certainly not  like Deevy) was quoted as saying. "It makes my foot itch how nobody saw this shortage coming".

So next time you see your gazpacho starter scoring 6/10, or watch somebody finding a spider under the duvet, pity the poor old pizzicato players.
There are only three currently licensed in this country.

And two of them have been off with stress since the Christmas specials.

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