What is forgiveness?
I have no reason to to be thinking about this just now but what really is it?
Wikipedia tells us that is is the process of concluding resentment, the granting of a free pardon and giving up all claim or debt on account of the offence.
So who can really do that?
Unless you're gifted with the blessing of Alzheimer's disease, in which case forgetting and forgiving would be a highly recommended approach, can you actually just forgive?
On its own?
Just like that?
Draw a line under something and relinquish all resentment?
Is that even possible?
Maybe you need to be religious, but if it takes believing in supernatural overlords and all their false prophecies to allow you to forgive, then I fear for forgiveness.
Isn't it in fact the ultimate joke that one of the commandments (and I think it's one that polls rather highly with those in the know) is not to worship false idols?
False idols!!!!
Isn't that the greatest trick god ever played?
Isn't that the greatest paradox, there is?
But forgiveness is certainly a necessary quality in these times.... as Paul McCartney would say.... "in which we live in".
Ah yes, I think I remember why I'm talking about it now. I had half an eye on a television programme last night. The man had been unfaithful to his wife, they were 'giving it another go' and at one point in the episode he said, "you have to forgive me at some point".
And I thought to myself, "No, she doesn't".
And then I realised it wasn't an instruction, it was actually really only half the sentence.
He was tacitly going on to say "you have to forgive me at some point, otherwise we don't make it, that's the end of us, I'm off". You couldn't say that of course because, to say the full sentence is to give an ultimatum. Ultimata end in fights.
Silent threats are the only way to go. (As long as you're not talking to somebody too thick or too forgiving to recognise them).
So, in fact, he was giving friendly advice. That advice being, 'on balance I (currently) want to be here' and 'on balance, I (currently) want to be with you in at least the medium-term, but if you're not going to forgive me, ever, then let's cut our losses'.
It has quite a subtext, this concept of forgiveness.
And it is wrapped in the deepest of emotions.
In terms of married life and television dramas, the dramatic event is frequently infidelity. So let's define that as well. You can have sex with 200 people before you get married but the second the ring goes on the finger, 201 is a no-no.
When you think about it, it's quite an abstract concept.
But as long as you successfully choose somebody who shares early 21st-century human sensibilities and isn't a bit of a psychopath, then hopefully this sacrifice is at least favourably mutual.
Many build that so-called security out of this mutual sacrifice, possibly even without making absolutely sure it is mutually understood. Possibly more in hope than expectation.
After all, it's the only code of practice that we can easily subscribe to that delivers this type of mutual control.
And yet, I have heard of the concept of open marriages. Indeed I once spent 5 or 6 hours on a trans-American flight talking to an international porn star who was very happily married. As a result I have yet to be convinced that the traditional approach is any more successful a recipe than a more modern one.
For me though, I am a traditional guy.
I surely don't need to prove it, but I play my internet torrent video downloads on an old 12" black and white TV and my up-tempo songs from the hit parade on what can only be described as a basic second-generation iPod.
Surely, it doesn't get much more traditional than that.
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