Inside Out

I wonder if there is a danger of bringing the sort of questions you might use at work home with you.
I reckon a lot of managers will be trained to use such an approach, without any consideration of the line I'm about to take.
I reckon a lot of people would highly recommend the practice of inspected reflection (ask any GP appraisee) but is it really fair? Or reasonable?

Imagine such an approach by a gruff manager. You may be naive enough to think your response isn't going to be used against you.

Imagine being asked by somebody who isn't very good at their job.
Imagine, as they badly perform and mimic your answer later in a less favourable, more critical tone, prefixed by the words "and you know what she said next? or "and you know what he said then?".

So this is the key question... "How do you feel about that?"
I think reflexively you'd want to reply.
But should you?

Doesn't your internal state belong absolutely to you and you alone?
Yes, you might choose to share feelings with people with whom you've built up a relationship, but be very careful who you do that with.
We've surrendered too much privacy already.

Are you obliged to give it up simply in response to a direct question?
Isn't it an incredible arrogance to ask?
Isn't it an incredibly rude approach?
Think about it.
And could you honestly find a polite way to decline this interrogation that someone wouldn't find offensive?
Largely because they were dumb enough to think they'd been perfectly reasonable in asking?

Is it reasonable to hold a conversation like a psychiatrist, or talk to a friend like a busy GP?
Or do we actually have to be very careful about that sort of thing?
How do you feel about that?
Eh?
How do you feel?
Tell me.
Tell me now.

So that is the request paraphrased - "Tell me your internal private feelings and do it now".
The problem with direct questions is they appear to give direct answers.
But they don't.
They can just as easily generate untruth as truth.
It's a short hop from there to the sort of checklist mentality that discredited NHS management, and Health and Safety amongst other inglorious institutions.

So where does ownership of yourself begin?
I reckon it begins at the nipples, chest high, skin level.
Anything proximal to that point I own and you have no right.
If I choose to donate an organ, I'll let you know.
It used to be that in polite company, one didn't discuss religion or politics. While most people with half a brain now wear their atheism as a badge of honour, I still wouldn't expect to be asked about my political persuasion, assuming I had any. It's just the last flicker of a memory called politeness.

So anything from my skin inwards is mine.
Are we agreed?

Everything beyond that we can share.

You can borrow my cardigan, if you like.