• Stay in your current relationship, for reasons of symmetry if nothing else.
• If you have any unused affection, reproduce. Don’t waste it on other parts of society.
• The ideal way to conceive is artificial insemination.
• Freeze your eggs before you are 40 to keep your options open and avoid getting fat at inconvenient times.
• Bottle feed babies to ensure breasts remain in optimum shape.
• Budget for your nanny.
• If circumstances dictate, advertise for a co-parent.
• Grieve for losses that are just an absence of gifts.
• Ask for a formal apology from anyone who expresses an opinion with which you disagree.
• Withdraw from all aspects of community other than online.
• Avoid being overqualified for future employment.
• If all else fails, sue
It’s a fine line between independence and dysfunctionality.
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