The Gender Divide - a poem

A poem to celebrate a few of the differences between the sexes.

When drama lies.
When the cast confesses
When women are actors.
Instead of actresses
When the reward is the art
But a gold statue is preferred
Then equality sits down
Without a word

When recruiting the jobs
That ladies do.
Marketing pharma
Or selling a shoe.
Then Pankhurst’s dreams
Seem like distant tales
And equality sits down
And files its nails

When sport is a leveller
Though men are much faster
And women play golf
But they call it the Masters
Then the gender divide
Becomes slightly absurd
And equality sits down
Without a word

A Christmas Message

Feathers are highly evolved scales and turkeys are dinosaurs.
Go figure.

A Christmas Ode - Aboard ship

This is a Christmas ode to the crew from the middle of the Atlantic...............

The friendliest characters
Unmatched in the fleet
The yardstick for others
(If they want to compete)

The best in the company
The passengers attest
(Don’t feel bad for Ventura
They’re doing their best)

We have the happiest security
Detecting the wrongs
(We’d all like a bit
Of whatever they’re on)

And Headlining the boat
Is award-winning beauty
Smiles and glitter
The shaking of booty

The F&B team is the sharpest afloat
The invisible pianist who won’t miss a note
As he plays us his tireless, moving cadenza
We’ll even ensure he won’t get influenza.

To everyone who come to us with a sneeze
(We know at times we all feel a bit of unease)
To the ones who at Christmas get too hale and hearty
To the kids who fall down at Mr Bump’s Party

To the florist with Christmas trees, just unplanted
And to everyone else we all take for granted.
You know who you are and what you have done
And though you might not get snow this year
At least here comes the sun.

It’s not just good luck
It comes from the top
Hard work. Forgiveness.
A damn good mop.

We wish you all the best Christmas
And all that you dream
In two thousand and nine
From the medical team

Pink Christmas

The party season brings pretty frocks and an overtiredness that may lead to the occasional tear whatever our age and life experience. Perhaps all you can do is laugh it off and not take life too seriously.
Here’s a short poem dedicated to girls aged 5 to 95 years with a first line that my mother would come out with, although not in a context I ever particularly understood. Looking at it now, I think it might make more sense with the girls changed to boys. Although in todays society......
Anyway I added the other three!

Pink to make the girls wink
Red eyes that make them blink
From tears that force them to rethink
Whether or not boys stink.

French kissing in the USA.

You may or may not know the common continental greeting of kissing on both cheeks.
But which check to start with for your opening volley?
Well if you are from Portugal, you start on the right and if you are from Italy you should start on the left. Or the other way round.
A friend recently went to the marriage of an Italian to a Portuguese girl with half the gathering from one side of the family and half from the other.
Despite intensive training leading up to the big day, the airkissing and cheek rubbing that ensued nearly caused an annulment.

Drugs and dancing

Well that was the Strictly final - wow. It is the modern LSD for the wannabe.
So here is my slightly darker poem run to the same rules as my secondary school teacher who always kindly said.... “Write a poem... you don’t have to make it rhyme...”

POISE.

What is poise in a dancer?
If not an elegant poison
A toxin to fix the gaze
Curare for the hopeless romantic
A paralytic to make every muscle statuesque
Every muscle.
But the heart.

Poise coming up...

Well it's the Strictly final tonight... so tomorrow I'll do 6 lines on Poise.
So there!

Azucena’s Ocean - a poem

It’s a bulletin from Neptune’s
Second-to-final frontier
Its headlines screaming
The planet is here

Unarmed warfare
Coming wave upon wave
A rage o’salt,
Beckons the brave

Mariner’s pass
With Poseidon’s permission
Riding the stylings
Of nature’s beautician

But like each snowflake’s different
Each wave is bespoke.
In watery graveyards
Permission’s revoked

Vanishing coastlines
Like nature’s magician
Punishing shorelines
With brutal attrition

A roar display
Of unrestrained vanity
Banishing cliffs
With saline insanity

Yet easing the mind
Like a favourite song
Sweeping the beaches
Righting the wrongs

A soft melody
On endless repeat
The heart of the world
In irregular beat

Gaia’s draughtsman
Till the Earth finds its end,
Is a quick witted stranger
And an angry old friend.

An eternal craftsman
Pounding at granite
Marking time.
With the music of the planet

Paving the way for poetry

Tomorrow I am going to give you a poem.
There is something about the lilting journey of rhyme that soothes the soul.

I think it may be hard-wired like, oh I don’t, know let’s say an affection and respect for the oceans that dominate our planet.
That was what they used to call a Radio 2 link because it’s going to be a poem about the sea. You see.
And as soon as I find a word to rhyme with planet, I’ll be right with you.

Plastic Fantastic

Why do airports push credit cards ?
Do you really a need a glamourpuss in her fifties or a carefully suited salesgirl in her twenties jumping from behind a wooden display as soon as you clear security?
Isn’t your main concern not dropping the bags that you have quickly picked up from the conveyor belt and trying to make sure your trousers don’t fall down when in all the excitement of replacing your belt you haven’t reached your usual notch?
Does the wallet so recently replaced in your pocket really need another Mastercard?
Would you not have thought about it earlier?
It is not as if they will get it printed up for you and delivered to your seat on the plane.
It is not like a cable car ride abroad where the photo of you entering is presented in exchange for your 10 euros as you leave 10 minutes later.
Do you need another plastic fantastic fast track pathway to lead us deeper into the glamorous world of debt?
Well you might need the additional credit at airports.
Just to afford to replace the bottle of water that you had to bin before the security check.