The Last

If positive thoughts could halt nature

In its game to make us slip away

They would

The only other way to play is to

Raise a glass to tomorrow or yesterday

A card to promptly express thought

I thought, merited a fountain pen

I dug one out

But words newly inked became indistinct,

feathering into the paper, a disclaimer

on the back said

It was from Responsible Sources

Nature.

Again.

The Theme is the Thing

https://youtu.be/ox1wdnyGXPU

Let me tell you about themes.

In order to catch up with the rest of the world. I watched the first season of Happy Valley.
I'm pleased to report it was excellent in all regards.
It felt like an up-to-date version of Juliet Bravo.
The acting was actually very good.
The casting was actually correct and not a box ticking exercise.
And it was all there on the page.
When something should have happened in the story is actually take as though somebody had actually thought about it.
They had a great Doctor Who and Sherlock director to kick it off

Did it break new ground ? No.
Did deserve the praise? Yes.
The real question is why so many dramas don't do the basics right like Happy Valley Season One did.

But I tried to watch this program five years ago.
And turned off
Because it did one thing absolutely dreadfully

One of the most well-respected shows in recent television history has the very worst theme tune.
But watching it on BBC  iPlayer means you can skip through that with one click.

Clearly somebody thought it was bold and brave or different.
But in fact it was a ridiculous choice, incongruous, grating, annoying, irrelevant. An abstract theme of what sounded like Americana hillbilly making a bland abstract unuseful comment on what you're about to see.

Because theme tunes are important.
I lived through the heyday of great theme tunes.
Mike Post in the 1980s the A-Team, Quantum L eap, Hardcastle and McCormick.
Themes that made your  blood pump.
Drew you in.
They were a call to action.

Everybody remembers Lee Majors and the $6 million man and his theme tune. Everybody danced along in slow motion to it at school. I'm currently organising a subscription only workout based on it to take down the Tai Chi crowd.
I was lucky enough to have a chat with him  a couple of years ago but we only spoke about his work in Thunderbirds - another great theme tune.
His follow-up series was as a stuntman - The Fall Guy. Not just any stuntman of course. The Unknown and Stuntmam
Because this series wasn't   sold on the premise of stuntman solving crimes. It was sold and bought on the theme tune alone.
The writer of the song played the song on the guitar in the audition room . The late Glen Larson pitched the show based around the title  of the song - The Unknown Stuntman. The show was commissioned on the back of the quality of the song and then successfully  produced worldwide for the next five years.

Themes are important.
They can sell a show on their own and sometimes they are all a show has left.
That primal call to action, is an activation of anticipation and loyalty, but also of memories that previous  hearings invoked.

Only hard-core fans of Champion the Wonder Horse would doubt that the greatest theme tune history of television belongs to Doctor Who.

But alas three agonising years, the only reason anybody would sit through an episode was knowing a reward was waiting  -after 42 min of being slapped around the face min you get to hear the theme tune again, and you can start to put the whole hideous experience behind you.
The theme is important - a call to action, yes but also their memory of better times,  hope everything will be right in the future. Themes survive the darkness.
When you look at how Doctor Who survived this darkness, you can find the answer by drumming four fingers on the table. Repeat ad infinitum. 

I will even loan you some lyrics. This too will pass.

I've only ever had three ringtones  - three television themes.
The Tomorrow People
The Invisible Man 1970s (David McCallum version)
and Sherlock
That must tell a story.

Enough fame


Do you think you want to be famous?
Perhaps famous enough to propel your message, be heard even if you have no desire to be seen.
But famous?
Do you want people watching your every move, waiting on your every gesture, interpreting your every comment?
Is what you have to say really that valuable?
Are you really the best person to be saying it?

Why is your opinion of any notable value?
Maybe you used to play professional football?
But then maybe you're talking about football.
Or you used to be on a soap opera? And you are used to putting the world to rights.

And when I talk about notable value, I will celebrate your independence with you but of course I really mean using influence over millions of followers.
What is democratic about that sort of control? Or perhaps you think that's exactly what democracy is.
In which case.
Bless.

No, fame as a means to an end. OK. Enough is needed. Yet that's the one thing that those it is given to often know the least about.
To sell your music. To promote your writing. To raise money for charity. Okay, I get that.
But as an end in itself. Most definitely not.

There is no entry fee to being a politician.

Although she had been in the soap opera that is considered a distinct advantage nowadays .
And if you can act despite that, all the better.
Find a certain type of people . Set your loyalties to a party you think is most likely to take you on. Don't worry about changing if you need to sacrifice a Party line the size of a Domesday book. You can always swallow another one whole.
Simply walk across to the other side of the chamber. Simply betray everybody voted for you.
Easy.

Yes, perhaps these people should be well known.
So we can see them coming.
Call them out
Wave them off.

Katie Price was on the television yesterday. Someone who has courted fame in every possible way. Not for contribution to society, but to collect money.
She talks of becoming a paramedic or training as a nurse.
So she can help people?
I'm sceptical.
So she can get a TV crew to follow to give her another story to tell.
I don't dislike Katie Price.
But fame. At any cost.
No.
I don't think so.