Film Review #6: The Hidden Face [2011]

This was high-scoring on IMDB and I was confident from reviews that it would be a humdinger.

No.

The problem is you cannot read reviews of a film like this because you don't want to hear anything about the plot.

So how can I warn you?

Well - notice how nothing much happens in the first half an hour? Although salient it borders on dull so it's okay to do your knitting then.

It's not actually bad. Performances are good. It's not long.

The main problem I found , thinking with the writers hat on, was there were too many ways the story could end, and they'd all be equally fine.

I thought of 4 or 5 including the one they  went for which was not my preference.

It was played kind of safe in the end.

I recall a similar end device in a 'Tales of the Unexpected' which they nailed.

I've been spoiled by some Spanish thrillers recently, so I was disappointed with this one, mildly annoyed even

Should have been right up my street.

Satisfaction - Not guaranteed

Rewatchable? Not rounded enough for that accolade

One-line review: Spanish suspense - there's not a lot of anything other than coincidence in the script and it pulls its final punch to a tap on the shoulder

Lesson learned: Seeking films in the same vein as ones you loved – always a risk.

5/10

Film #5: Enter Nowhere 2011

Now I have fallen into this trap before.
Looking for exciting mystery thrillers, finding something interesting that nobody's ever heard of.
And then, of course, regretting it.
Scott Eastwood echoes the looks of his Dad remarkably, but that's about it.
This looks like a film made because somebody needed to make a film.
If you see it classed as horror I would take issue with that.

But if it was delivered as a one-hour fringe play, I possibly could go for it.
Or even written as a short story.
But a movie scripted functionally somebody with no flair for the written word. No, thanks.
Thanks. And everything.
But no.

The final sequence of the walk along the sand in the same footprints they made in their rehearsal shows the sort of sloppiness that made the film tedious even when watching it at 1.75 speed which is the one way to slog through if you need to know the twist

I've since learned the film had two titles (always a good sign!), the second with a cliche formula of The Haunting of....
I don't think it's haunting anymore then it's a horror movie.
A mystery movie in need of some better scripting then.
But damn,  he does like Clint

Satisfaction - Not Guaranteed  
Rewatchable? Jesus, no
One-line review: a serviceable short story formulaically put on film for the wrong reasons, best watched with subtitles at double speed.
3/10

FIlm #4: Julia's Eyes [Los Ojos De Julia] [2010]

Guillermo Del Toro directs Oriol Paulo's mystery script in 2010

Hints of the supernatural hide in the textured script of a complete thriller.

Blindness is a thriller trope of course but I won't refer to the medical "explanatory difficulties" as inconsistencies or plotholes because guess what… it's a thriller and an entertainment. Of course, there are convenient plot decisions (the stool, the CCTV). But I don't want to watch somebody in rehab for nine months. I want them to tell their story at  pace. 

And there's plenty of story. 

And  plenty of pace. 

It drips atmosphere.

Scriptwise it does lever in a jarring line  (three times it came, three times it made me wince - rule of 3).  Perhaps the line sounds better in the romance of the Spanish language than in the translation that a poetic Yorkshireman reads to himself. But at least, as with everything on show here,  there is a purpose to it (even if I don't fully approve of the closing situation).

It took two of us to piece it together just before the close and still there were surprises.

The universally convincing Spanish actors make me lament about English actors I see cast on TV, picked for features other than ability.

Who would enjoy this? Sunday night mystery lovers who are OK with a healthy dose of horror.

One-line review: Super Spaniards showing us again what mystery thrillers are. 

9/10

 

Film #3: God's Crooked Lines [2022]

Add a sweepingly classic psychiatric setting to a twisty plot and sit forward in your chair to pay full attention for 2.5 hours

This time I watched an English dub on Netflix  which was a good dub.

The Spanish cast look great as does the Gothic cinematography.

Caution: Worry when the story is neatly wrapped up and there are ten minutes to go  because your filmmakers intend to entertain you right in the end.

Satisfaction - Guaranteed

Rewatchable? A bit long to watch twice but not too long to watch once

Who would enjoy this? Fans of Shutter Island

One-line review - Oriol Paulo's repertory theatre with Mario Casas in more top-notch Spanish suspense. 

9/10

 

I may have to track down everything Oriol Paulo does -  I see there's a Netflix series called The Innocent which may have my name on it ....

Film #2: The Invisible Guest (2016)

Oriol Paulo directs a twisty Spanish thriller. I watched,  in Spanish with English subtitles, Mario Casas in a visually marvellous beautifully-appointed mystery.

Even to describe its genre would be a spoiler. So here it is…. I have an earnest respect for cat and mouse thrillers.

I have never seen this kind of twist done better.

Satisfaction - Guaranteed

Rewatchable? You'd know the twists of course but maybe, as an exercise. It is damn good

One-line review: Spanish suspense - are they the only ones doing it so damned well?  

10/10

 

I tracked down more of Oriol Paulo's movies .... to come

Film #1: Gran Torino [2008]

It's taken me 16 years to get round to seeing this. I remember that it was billed as possibly Clint Eastwood's last film but I think he is making that now in 2025. Good old Clint. It's not an easy name to carry off.

This is a fairly simple movie of redemption with elements of the Karate Kid, and that's no bad thing. Clint Eastwood makes it five times as watchable as it could or should be. Cast that role badly and I would have been tuning out.

The villains are irritatingly but satisfyingly nasty.

Having seen it a week ago now, what I largely remember is that plot points are mentioned rather than telegraphed and often not even mentioned, just hinted at. I'm sure this enhances the movie in the eyes of critics but it means the rest of us have to work a little harder so we don't miss anything.

It continues to surprise me how failing to concentrate on just one line of the movie can make you miss a whole connection.

There is a way out - watch movies with somebody else and discuss the points that could occur to you - particularly when it comes to my favourite kind of movie - the twisty turny thrillers. It's like two people doing an escape room. It helps to have friends.

But if you're guessing (aloud) a twist in a thriller or surprise ending/reveal then you may find out who your real friends are sooner rather than later.

So take care.

As always, Wikipedia to check the plot (don't read it first)

And there's usually YouTube videos to explain the ending (and define some things you missed)

If you understood everything and it's sci-fi, there are probably Easter eggs (you-tube, Google)

 

All these things take the pressure off following a complex plot.

You shouldn't have to work that hard after all. It's an entertainment not an SAT.

 

Gran Torino (2008) One line review: A complete drama with a magnetic Clint.

Satisfaction - Guaranteed

Who would enjoy this? Clint-lovers and anyone who is patient. I don't remember it having the quickest of starts.

Rewatchable? No, not really. The choice of conclusion always limits my interest in seeing a film again.

 

My Film Reviews

A great gift you can give is sometimes a simple recommendation.

When you have excellent taste as I do, that is the greatest of gifts.

And free!

I'm working through a little FOMO  about not seeing enough movies

 

I am not sure how to collect my own film reviews  - and so I am going to use my old blog for now.

I can see a website called Letterboxd  - might use that later. Might not.

I have picked some criteria that I may share later when perfected (like I am going to continue doing this!)

But for now let's get started with 

Film #1.  Gran Torino [2009]

 

 

The Last

If positive thoughts could halt nature

In its game to make us slip away

They would

The only other way to play is to

Raise a glass to tomorrow or yesterday

A card to promptly express thought

I thought, merited a fountain pen

I dug one out

But words newly inked became indistinct,

feathering into the paper, a disclaimer

on the back said

It was from Responsible Sources

Nature.

Again.

The Theme is the Thing

https://youtu.be/ox1wdnyGXPU

Let me tell you about themes.

In order to catch up with the rest of the world. I watched the first season of Happy Valley.
I'm pleased to report it was excellent in all regards.
It felt like an up-to-date version of Juliet Bravo.
The acting was actually very good.
The casting was actually correct and not a box ticking exercise.
And it was all there on the page.
When something should have happened in the story is actually take as though somebody had actually thought about it.
They had a great Doctor Who and Sherlock director to kick it off

Did it break new ground ? No.
Did deserve the praise? Yes.
The real question is why so many dramas don't do the basics right like Happy Valley Season One did.

But I tried to watch this program five years ago.
And turned off
Because it did one thing absolutely dreadfully

One of the most well-respected shows in recent television history has the very worst theme tune.
But watching it on BBC  iPlayer means you can skip through that with one click.

Clearly somebody thought it was bold and brave or different.
But in fact it was a ridiculous choice, incongruous, grating, annoying, irrelevant. An abstract theme of what sounded like Americana hillbilly making a bland abstract unuseful comment on what you're about to see.

Because theme tunes are important.
I lived through the heyday of great theme tunes.
Mike Post in the 1980s the A-Team, Quantum L eap, Hardcastle and McCormick.
Themes that made your  blood pump.
Drew you in.
They were a call to action.

Everybody remembers Lee Majors and the $6 million man and his theme tune. Everybody danced along in slow motion to it at school. I'm currently organising a subscription only workout based on it to take down the Tai Chi crowd.
I was lucky enough to have a chat with him  a couple of years ago but we only spoke about his work in Thunderbirds - another great theme tune.
His follow-up series was as a stuntman - The Fall Guy. Not just any stuntman of course. The Unknown and Stuntmam
Because this series wasn't   sold on the premise of stuntman solving crimes. It was sold and bought on the theme tune alone.
The writer of the song played the song on the guitar in the audition room . The late Glen Larson pitched the show based around the title  of the song - The Unknown Stuntman. The show was commissioned on the back of the quality of the song and then successfully  produced worldwide for the next five years.

Themes are important.
They can sell a show on their own and sometimes they are all a show has left.
That primal call to action, is an activation of anticipation and loyalty, but also of memories that previous  hearings invoked.

Only hard-core fans of Champion the Wonder Horse would doubt that the greatest theme tune history of television belongs to Doctor Who.

But alas three agonising years, the only reason anybody would sit through an episode was knowing a reward was waiting  -after 42 min of being slapped around the face min you get to hear the theme tune again, and you can start to put the whole hideous experience behind you.
The theme is important - a call to action, yes but also their memory of better times,  hope everything will be right in the future. Themes survive the darkness.
When you look at how Doctor Who survived this darkness, you can find the answer by drumming four fingers on the table. Repeat ad infinitum. 

I will even loan you some lyrics. This too will pass.

I've only ever had three ringtones  - three television themes.
The Tomorrow People
The Invisible Man 1970s (David McCallum version)
and Sherlock
That must tell a story.

Enough fame


Do you think you want to be famous?
Perhaps famous enough to propel your message, be heard even if you have no desire to be seen.
But famous?
Do you want people watching your every move, waiting on your every gesture, interpreting your every comment?
Is what you have to say really that valuable?
Are you really the best person to be saying it?

Why is your opinion of any notable value?
Maybe you used to play professional football?
But then maybe you're talking about football.
Or you used to be on a soap opera? And you are used to putting the world to rights.

And when I talk about notable value, I will celebrate your independence with you but of course I really mean using influence over millions of followers.
What is democratic about that sort of control? Or perhaps you think that's exactly what democracy is.
In which case.
Bless.

No, fame as a means to an end. OK. Enough is needed. Yet that's the one thing that those it is given to often know the least about.
To sell your music. To promote your writing. To raise money for charity. Okay, I get that.
But as an end in itself. Most definitely not.

There is no entry fee to being a politician.

Although she had been in the soap opera that is considered a distinct advantage nowadays .
And if you can act despite that, all the better.
Find a certain type of people . Set your loyalties to a party you think is most likely to take you on. Don't worry about changing if you need to sacrifice a Party line the size of a Domesday book. You can always swallow another one whole.
Simply walk across to the other side of the chamber. Simply betray everybody voted for you.
Easy.

Yes, perhaps these people should be well known.
So we can see them coming.
Call them out
Wave them off.

Katie Price was on the television yesterday. Someone who has courted fame in every possible way. Not for contribution to society, but to collect money.
She talks of becoming a paramedic or training as a nurse.
So she can help people?
I'm sceptical.
So she can get a TV crew to follow to give her another story to tell.
I don't dislike Katie Price.
But fame. At any cost.
No.
I don't think so.