Arts Review

There are only two things wrong with Drum and Bass music.

Quotable Me 57

It's only by learning to parry the knocks, 
that you can deal with the blows.

Mad-erel

I bought John West Mackerel Fillets in Korma Sauce(125g) at Home
Bargains yesterday.
I paid 59p
They're nice - try them.


I had already tried them from ASDA - 75p

But I could have bought them from Morrisons £1.20 [2 for £1.60]

or on OFFER at Sainsbury reduced from £1.30 to £1

or Waitrose £1.59 [2 for £2.00]


So I could have spent £1.59 for the tin.

But spent 59p

British pricing.

Mad!

Today's Invention

You know those ice chilling covers you keep in the freezer.

Rapid Ice.

You know how people are drinking more Mini bottles nowadays...

So they have a Rapid Ice MINI, don't they?

An obvious easy stocking filla...

Well ...no..they don't.

Why not do it?

Brand it nicely..include a wine miniature, add a lollipop or a purple Quality Street or Ferrero Rocher, depending on your level of class  - it's  a pretty lovely gift, ain't it? 

I think so .... but then I'm a lolly man.

Until then I've sorted it for you ...

Buy a big 'un and add a laggy band.

You're welcome.

It's 1984

If I shout loud enough, I can get two Amazon Echos within a 5 yard radius to well…give them an inspirational anecdote, define a word, play a song…

Alexa - tell me a joke

Alexa - newsflash … please

I can get the students upstairs to pay attention to current affairs or discover an inspirational concept.

If I could only get them to stop dropping Starbucks cups on the pavement and throwing their fag ends in my back yard and leaving their bottles and cans in the street , the future will really be here.

At least if they really annoy me I can get their Alexa to call them an Uber.

Unfortunately... they can do the same to me.

A Fistful of Dribbles

Do you remember that Marlon Brando always used to get a hard time for being difficult to work with?

Why was it such a surprise?

What else would you expect from someone who called his son Superman? 

It's bad enough nowadays when naming children after a food, a fruit or weather condition.

Peaches or Romeo, 

Buster or Fido, 

Rocket or Buzz.

Yes, of course we should punch Jamie Oliver in the face if we get the chance.

Nobody is arguing that we should forget to do that.

But he's not the only one deserving of a knuckle croque monsieur.

Being difficult to work with is hardly a surprise is it?

So give poor old Marlon a break.

It's not as if he ever called his dog, Dog.

I'm not saying he was perfect. 

He wasn't. 

He was very fat.

But he didn't call his cat, Philip.

As I reminded my nephew Cumulonimbus, recently.

Poisson Day

It's April the 2nd !

Ha..haaaaaaaaaaaa....you mugs.

OK... I need to work on my hoax material.